So our son was off to boarding school—his choice, not ours—and the house was really quiet. And as the universe has a way of doing things, the opportunity to host a visiting exchange student came to us. What the heck? We had never had an exchange student before, and didn’t know what to expect. What we got was a truly life-changing experience.

   Welcoming foreign strangers into your home is an odd experience—especially when they will become a long-term addition to the household. How will we communicate? What about privacy? How will we manage cooking and transportation? So many questions! Yet, interestingly, they tend to get resolved fairly easily. We found that early e-mail conversations and questionnaires settled a lot of issues. Before our exchange person arrived, we already knew what she did and did not like to eat, what her interests and goals were, whether she could use our car or not, what her background was. In many ways we knew her pretty well before we picked her up at the airport. And she knew us, too, because we sent her answers to the same questions, photos of ourselves, the house, her room, the kitchen, and some sense of the kind of people we are. We also made clear some of our expectations for how we would like her to “fit” into our family.

   Granted, we are very easy to get along with, and because we have traveled a lot, we are pretty world-wise. As a result, we are flexible, tolerant and easy-going about most things. This made the greetings at the airport more like the return of a friend than the picking up of a stranger. Of course, it is not exactly the same.  Many things don’t get discussed ahead of time, and things always crop up. But we made sure we were open to discussion and we made every effort to make our exchange student feel at home. One of the first things we did was take her to the market to shop for food and other necessities. This gave her a chance to get some things she liked to eat, to see how markets work in the U.S., and to pick out those things she had forgotten to pack. In the end, it turned out to be very entertaining for all of us since we ended up talking about many simple things and laughing about the differences she discovered in how our food markets are organized and the products we have available. It helped dispel a number of myths she had about American eating habits and tastes, and assured her that she would not starve while in our care.

   As the days passed, we developed a routine of eating breakfast together and most evening meals (which she had a hand in preparing). We made a habit of ending each day with conversations about what she had seen and done that raised questions for her. She also spent time with us helping us improve our knowledge of her native language (French). On the weekends, she spent a good bit of time with our son, assisting him with his study of French for school. In the process, she improved her command of English significantly—including her knowledge of American idioms and slang. She even got to the point of understanding jokes in English—a tough task for anyone trying to master a second language. She traveled with us and helped us plan trips and excursions (e.g., to the zoo, museums, concerts, state parks, etc.) that took us to see things we would not have considered seeing if not for her interest—and these experiences turned our to be wonderful opportunities.

   Over the course of our time together, we grew to think of our homestay student as a part of the family and really missed her when she returned to France. During her time with us, we helped her deal with her breakup with her boyfriend, her debate about career choices, and her sometimes low self-esteem. These things and others brought us closer together and assured that we had all established a lifelong friendship. And indeed we have, and years later, we still count our first homestay student as a dear friend. We even visit her periodically when we are in France. When we see her, it is like we have left the room and returned to a familiar conversation. It’s a lovely feeling!

   Since our first hosting experience, we have welcomed other exchange students and teachers into our home and have continued to make more and more friends from other lands. In the process, our understanding and appreciation of other people and cultures have continued to grow and become more refined. It has made the world a much more inviting and accessible place, a place made better by having a diversity of friends and acquaintances—sort of like an extended family.